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locopony
Loquacious


Reged: 09/01/10
Posts: 4353
Loc: Texas, Houston
headline news.
      #570079 - 08/06/12 08:21 AM

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!
They put in a correction the next day.
I just couldn't help but send this along. Too funny...

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No crap, really? Ya think?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far
--------------------------------------------------

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
---------------------------------------------------------------

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
------------------------------------------------------------------

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
----------------------------------------------------------------

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
----------------------------------------------------------------

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
-------------------------------------------------------------------

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
-----------------------------------------------

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
********************************************

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
***************************************************

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
****************************************************************
And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
***************************************************

--------------------
Bopin in the bad shine, with a bota bag of fried wine.
http://locoponys.com/


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jules
Greenhorn


Reged: 08/29/07
Posts: 32
Loc: stafford.uk
Re: headline news. [Re: locopony]
      #570088 - 08/06/12 12:54 PM

i needed a laugh

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brindle
Loquacious


Reged: 08/02/09
Posts: 2505
Loc: Burton-on-Trent, England
Re: headline news. [Re: jules]
      #570100 - 08/06/12 03:07 PM

They're that good, I'm nicking them!

--------------------
Wherever I go, there is an unwanted presence

Too old to die young, too ugly to leave a good looking corpse


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Silky
Adjunct


Reged: 10/04/10
Posts: 391
Loc: Western Australia , South West
Re: headline news. [Re: brindle]
      #570117 - 08/06/12 05:04 PM

I liked em

Occasionally I'll come across a newspaper article that takes my fancy and I'll cut it out for my scrap book , here's one I will share with you all.

Driver suspended , fined after Kalgoorlie - Perth reverse attempt
A man who attempted to reverse his car almost 600 km from Kalgoorlie to Perth has been fined and had his licence suspended. Traffic police were surprised to clock (and they named him) travelling backwards at 56 kph along the Great Eastern Highway outside Coolgardie this month.(Coolgardie to Kalgoorlie about 45 km) When police pulled the 22 year old over he explained he had cooked the gearbox on his 1988 Ford LTD and reverse was the only gear still working. He was charged with reckless driving and driving without a licence. In Kalgoorlie Magistrate's Court yesterday (name) was fined $1100 and had his lic suspended for 18 months.

--------------------
Peace in the country when the sun goes down , the corn is gettin' high


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SMJoe
Adjunct


Reged: 11/19/09
Posts: 588
Loc: Ottawa, ON
Re: headline news. [Re: Silky]
      #570132 - 08/06/12 06:38 PM

Quote:

I liked em

Occasionally I'll come across a newspaper article that takes my fancy and I'll cut it out for my scrap book , here's one I will share with you all.

Driver suspended , fined after Kalgoorlie - Perth reverse attempt
A man who attempted to reverse his car almost 600 km from Kalgoorlie to Perth has been fined and had his licence suspended. Traffic police were surprised to clock (and they named him) travelling backwards at 56 kph along the Great Eastern Highway outside Coolgardie this month.(Coolgardie to Kalgoorlie about 45 km) When police pulled the 22 year old over he explained he had cooked the gearbox on his 1988 Ford LTD and reverse was the only gear still working. He was charged with reckless driving and driving without a licence. In Kalgoorlie Magistrate's Court yesterday (name) was fined $1100 and had his lic suspended for 18 months.


How much RED BULL would one have to drink to stay alert driving in reverse for 600 km? Costly let alone the chiropractic fees for ones back. Perhaps $1100 was cheap all things concidered.

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Keith
Stickman Yogi


Reged: 03/21/09
Posts: 11666
Loc: BC, Canada
Re: headline news. [Re: Silky]
      #570135 - 08/06/12 06:59 PM

Quote:

...He was charged with reckless driving and driving without a licence....and had his lic suspended for 18 months.





--------------------
Live to love, love to live.


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Smokey3214
Learned Hand


Reged: 02/18/11
Posts: 1993
Loc: Western NC
Re: headline news. [Re: Keith]
      #570137 - 08/06/12 07:18 PM

Makes me think of a filing I once saw. Usually charges are listed in order of importance.

1. Illegal use of telephone.

2. Murder.


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roadworthy
Old Hand


Reged: 08/29/07
Posts: 8912
Loc: St Louis MO
Re: headline news. [Re: Keith]
      #570153 - 08/06/12 10:11 PM

Quote:

Quote:

...He was charged with reckless driving and driving without a licence....and had his lic suspended for 18 months.









right?

--------------------
I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now.


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